There is no "i" in team, but there is a "u" in douchebag!!! Got a tip? Email us at yabbadabbadouche@gmail.com or follow us on Twitter at @YabDabDouche!


Way to go asshole….

RICHMOND, British Columbia – With three memorable words, Sven Kramer became internationally famous after his victory in the 5,000-meter men’s speedskating event last Saturday, when an NBC reporter asked him to time-stamp a videotape by stating his name and country as he stood before the camera.

“Are you stupid?” the 23-year-old Dutch superstar snarled with contempt, ensuring that the video would go viral before it was lifted by the IOC.

Three words.

The same three words that the entire skating community is asking of Kramer himself Tuesday.

The most celebrated speedskater in the world was on his way to an Olympic record Tuesday, when officials took away his gold medal by disqualifying him for a lane-changing infraction nearly two-thirds of the way through the 10,000-meter men’s marathon at the Richmond Olympic Oval.

And when he got the news, Kramer had three more words:

“This really sucks,” he said. “This is a real expensive mistake.”

With eight laps remaining in the 25-lap race, referee Hannu Koivu of Finland ruled that Kramer made an “incorrect changing of lanes.” Kramer himself didn’t know of the penalty until he crossed the finish line in 12:54.50 – which would have been an Olympic record, but now it is reduced to a historical footnote.

Instead, the gold medal – and the Olympic record — went to Seung-Hoon Lee of Korea, who covered the 10,000 meters in 12:58.55. Ivan Skobrev, the Russian who was skating alongside Kramer, took the silver in 13:02.07. And ironically, Bob de Jong of the Netherlands was the greatest benefactor of his teammate’s blunder, winning the bronze in 13:06.73.

And the guy left empty-handed handled the disappointment with remarkable composure, but he did manage to blame his coach, Gerald Kemkers, for the infraction.

“Despite what happened, I skated one of my best 10,000 meters ever, if not my best,” Kramer said. “It went so well, I wasn’t getting tired at all.”

That might be because he was preoccupied by a nagging suspicion that he goofed badly on the 17th lap.

Skaters typically switch lanes on the backstretch, but as he worked on the outside on lap 17, Kramer looked confused. He crossed over to the inside, but he lifted his right skate over a cone that marked the start of a sweeping curve – not making contact with it in any way — before continuing on his course.

“Usually, I don’t want to blame anyone else, but this time I can’t do anything else,” Kramer said. “I wanted to go to the outer lane; then just before the cone, Gerald shouted, ‘Inner lane.’ I thought he’s probably right, and I went to the inner lane.

“At first, I thought my skates passed the cone on the wrong side, and I will be disqualified. Then I noticed in the stadium something was wrong.”

Indeed, the capacity crowd recognized that Kramer and Skobrev were skating an inordinate amount of time in the same lane, but Kramer didn’t realize it until he finished his laps and was told by his coach. He responded by flinging his glasses down in disgust.

De Long was among the first to meet his teammate.

“His reaction to me was, ‘What’s going on? This really sucks for Holland,’” said de Long, whose Dutch countrymen, clad in orange, filled half the building as usual. “You don’t want to win (a medal) like this, but everybody has to cross over 25 times. And everybody has to skate 10 kilometers.

“But it’s terrible — your bad dreams all becoming true.”

Kramer has already had a brilliant Olympics, having won the gold in the 5,000.

But the 10,000 was supposed to be a runaway. Even the gold medal winner knew that.

“I’m lucky to get this medal,” Lee said. “Had Kramer not been disqualified, he would have had it.”

“In the end, it’s my responsibility — I’m the skater on ice, I have to do it,” Kramer said. “Maybe it’s best said, ‘We did it wrong.’ ”

If they ever get around to talking to each other again, anyway.

“We have to repair this,” said Dutch head coach Wopke de Vegt, whose team still has a team pursuit event coming up. “It’s not a matter of choice. We are going to repair it – there’s another medal. We have to change heads to change minds. The Olympics are not over.”




  1. hahaha… i love it!! kharma is a bitch that still doesn’t know.. wait for it.. wait for it…. your name.. len? lamer? blamer? oh yes kramer…. however i think blamer sounds about right..

    better luck next interview blamer, i’m sure they know your name now.



  2. Douches on Ice! I love it! Or Douch-cicle or Ice Ice Douchie , or my favorite Dutch Vanilla topped with Ska-douche!

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